The Plague of Loneliness

Humans are fickle creatures.

We construct mass networks of friends, colleagues, associates, and peers. Empires of followers, friends, and buddies. Thousands of faces pass us on university campuses, school hallways, and offices.

With these legions of individuals, we expect them to be significant to our lives in some fashion. When we are dumped, we reach for someone. When a death of a loved one shatters our reality, we reach for someone. When we fail that test, we reach for someone. And when we just feel alone, we reach for someone.

Perhaps one of the greatest fallacies, or flaws in the human psyche is that we DO feel alone when surrounded by so many other humans. Haven't we all felt that gripping piercing stab of loneliness sitting in a classroom or at the summer barbecue, surrounded by others? Why?

The castles and kingdoms of friends and followers turn to sand when we reach for someone and no one is there. The towers of colleagues and acquaintances are rubble after a hard day and no one to talk to.

This is not about self pity.

This is a wake up call. A call to action.

Because while you, yes YOU, feel like you are happy and content with the people around you, someone is not. Someone is feeling down in the depths of despair without a soul around to hug them and say "It'll be alright. I'm here." Look around you. Open your eyes. Put down your cellular phones and go look people in the eyes. Is there light? Do they shine? No? Then sit them down and listen to them.

It may not be now, it may have been yesterday, or it might be next Thursday, that you are the person who just needs that friend to be there to listen. You might be the person who does the listening. It is a road that goes both ways. If you want to be listened to you better expect to do your share of listening. How dare you think of being so selfish to shove your problems down the ear canals of another, while not being so kind as to return the favour!

When your castles and kingdoms turn to sand, remember my words: Listen to your friends -- that is how you keep them.

When a fisherman throws his line into a body of water and doesn't pull out any fish, he must abandon that lake to find a source that is more rewarding of his efforts. The funny thing about life is that we are called on to be the lake and at times we also find ourselves as the fisherman.

Be true to your friends. Be deserving to be called a friend. Listen.

TSR

Day Four: Tuesday Triumphs. Birth of a Dream.

Good comics make everything so much better. I had the privilege of spending about an hour in the Times Square Midtown Comics location. No one to disrupt me, obviously there were people there but the conversation was enjoyable and simple. I am having trouble deciding whether or not I like Midtown or Amazing Stories better. Midtown is in New York and that makes it cool, I got some free stuff and their inventory was astounding. Amazing Stories on the other hand is my comic store. It made me who I am today. Without it I bet I would be some slacker punk pounding away on the drums, having never found his true purpose and calling in life. As I ascended the ridiculous amount of stairs, the aroma of comic pages and binding wafted down and into my nostrils. It was like being reborn, it was like opening a letter and the scent greets you before digesting the words.

That was a fun highlight of the day. Honestly, this has been the best day of the trip thus far. I am so comfortable in this city. I walked around on my own. Yeah! Little Saskatchewan boy Toben, out on his own in the Big Apple.

This lovely day started out at Linkedin. It amazes me how many Mormons are in influential places in big companies like this. It wasn't like the other companies where it was like "Hey, tell us about your company so we can check if we want to work for you." Kyle told us about how to properly utilize the service of Linkedin to find contacts and build our network. It was awesome! I feel like I have better understanding of how the whole thing works and will use it to my advantage.

Fun subnote about Linkedin, the company is in the freaking Empire State Building. I also realized last night that the building where Wilson Fisk works in in the 90's Spider-Man cartoon isn't the Empire State Building but the Chrysler Building.

Linkedin's adventure took us then to a small hole in the wall where Tumblr hides. Tumblr is the whole reason that I wanted to come to this trip. I love Tumblr. I think working for this company would be awesome. Evan, a spunky New Yorker, was our guide. EVERYONE USES MACS!! Yeah that confirmed that that is the fit for me. I love Macintosh products. Do people even know what I am talking about if I saw Macintosh? Whatever. That visit was the best. Some snacks, good conversation and a really fun internship program. They will definitely be getting an application from me.

Even the aesthetic of the building is awesome! The brick walls, wooden floor like the floors of my sisters' apartments in Saskatoon. Gosh, such a creative space.

Tumblr was followed up with a visit to Kobalt Music. Now, if readers are not familiar with the mission and goal of Kobalt, go read about them. They are doing amazing things for the music industry. As I listened to Ryan speak to us, I kept thinking, "This is the Image Comics of the music industry!" Seriously, it is. I was so impressed with it. Ryan is a boss also. He basically made Britney Spears, The Backstreet Boys, and N-Sync who they were/are? are they still anything?

I was able to share my passions with him about how music is an intimate experience and the process of creation is so surreal and again, intimate. It was a fun little interview, I was really nervous and probably didn't do such a great job with expressing myself. However, I gave him a business and told him I'd love to talk more. He even liked the Sweet Pork Comic cards. Hell yeah.

Contently. This place was awesome as well! Like I said, every place we went to today was on point. Contently is a fun little place that helps writers and journalists be hooked up with bigger companies for free-lance work.

The atmosphere is that place was absolutely great. I really loved it. Again, brick walls, wooden floors. We sat down the HR chief, Founder, and digital content manager...I think, I don't fully remember what he did. Talking to someone who has a startup that has grown the way contently has in the past 2 years is amazing. Gives me so much hope for the dreams that I have.

We came home, tried to find show tickets, go bueno. I then went on my adventure to Midtown Comics. Came home to network and set up my own contently.

Life is good my friends. The Lord loves us all.
Cheers.
TSR

Day Three: Monday Memories, This is the Future.

New York is a different beast Monday morning. The subways are packed with commuters and the standard fare of passengers. I was arranged in my suit with my finance blue shirt and my Dominican paisley tie from the stylish Brumm. I was on top of the world. The weather was calm and under control for a while.

The day kicked off with a meeting to Bloomberg. This place is MASSIVE. It was like walking into a top secret spy division of the government. These places have amazing security. We were given badges and headed up to meet our tour guide, Nick. Now, I know nothing about finance. I get money, I spend money. That is about it. Even with that knowledge, I would work for this place. It is amazing. I cannot tell you anything about what they do, but I want to be a part of it. They have free snacks. They have amazing technology. And they have free snacks.

From there we walked over to Central Park to eat nuts with the birds. It was already a sunny day by that point and the sweat was gushing out of every pit. That area of the city is very different. It is calm, very active, but in a different way. There are a lot of people but no one is in a hurry. Lovely.

The stop of the day for me was Random House. I feel the need to explain my distaste for novels. I cannot read them. I did make it through that small batch of David Eddings novels around Christmas, though I have never been able to continue the series. I prefer the reading experience of the comic book. Therefore, I wasn't expecting a whole lot from my meeting at Random House. Shauna Summers, Scott Shannon, and Benjamin Dreyer, met with us and we talked for about an hour. It was awesome. The publishing world was so cool! There are so many cool avenues and little niches that one can fit into. Scott is the Senior Vice President of Digital. The strategies and techniques they use in their digital markets are amazing to me.

They explained something really interesting to me, something that has calmed my heart about the comic book industry. They explained that printing has kind of a fixed price meaning, whether you are printing an order of 25k or 50k the price difference isn't going to be that much because when you start the machine, the cost is basically the same. It isn't necessarily the size of the printing as the printing itself that is costly. Do you understand? If you print X it will cost Y. And if you print 2X it will cost 1.2Y it is a very small margin of increase for a larger printing if you are going to print at all. I hope that is understandable.

They gave us some books and we had a delicious meal in their cafeteria, the first taste of vegetables in a long while.

Y&R is a separate beast. I don't have enough energy at this moment to fully express how excited I am to try and gain an internship there. There are so many platforms ones can use their creativity to help with and this is definitely one of them. They are an advertising firm for brands like Campbell and Wendy's. Yeah I want to work there.

Some down time meant a nap on the floor and some comic idea note jotting. We took forever to meet with an employee of Harper Collins and then finally back to the hotel.

I rested and ate some licorice. The goal for the night was the Brooklyn bridge. We tracked down Nathan's hot dogs, I mistakenly order a philly cheesesteak (I thought it would be a phiily cheesesteak over a hot dog, it wasn't). Then we trekked to Brooklyn and walked the massive bridge. Following that lengthy expedition we went for cheesecake and then I did homework.

My eyes fit the impulse to close, for some reason this lobby is growing in brightness. Maybe I am dying. I'm not sure. Either way, I am done here. Until tomorrow loyal readers. Thank you.

Day Two: Adventures in Little Italy

One of the biggest advantages to walking around the huge city and packed streets. It is really stimulating for the brain. New comic and story ideas flowing in through the nonexistent ether all around. Maybe it is the mix of culture, maybe it is the smell; it does smell like the Dominican Republic; the smell that influenced so many of my past comic ideas. Who knows. Either way day two was more exciting than day one. And I have pictures to prove it.

We woke early and I shaved with one of the crappiest razors I have ever used in my life. Felt good. I got into my new suit, laced up my fancy shoes and headed out to get me some breakfast. I felt like a real New Yorker will nothing to lose and everything to gain. The mere fact that I was in a suit in New York made me feel invincible. And for a while, I was.

The first stop today was the Today Show, kinda, it was the ABC studio near Columbus St. It was amazing. We were there for their whole broadcast. Fun fact, it now takes about 5 people to make an hour long news broadcast. 3 talent, 1 floor manager, and 1 director; who is in a different building on a different floor. Isn't that fun! Amy Freeze is a really awesome person. It was inspiring to hear how she climbed, struggled, and succeeded to where she is now. She kept the gospel as the central focus of her and her family's life and it paid off. Love it.

Finally, we ate pizza. Legit, new york, made by italians, pizza. Woo dang. It was great!

We moseyed over to Central Park and strolled in the heat of the day before church. It was so hot. It was like being back in the Dominican Republic but packed into a suit and shoved into direct sunlight. It wasn't very nice but at the same time it was. I conversed with some designers at church, all interns. Literally, literally, almost literally, the whole ward is made up of interns, at least those in priesthood. Our priesthood teacher portrayed Joseph Smith a few times and also another significant prophet. Cool.

The latter hours of the day were spent as follows, calling my mother to wish her a Happy Mother's Day. Walking and subwaying over to Canal St. We walked through Chinatown dodging vendors and made our way into Little Italy. That whole section reminded me of being in the DR also. I was even able to do the finger wag to reject their offers. Love it.

Little Italy is a place I could find sanctuary in. The whole atmosphere gushes with love and appreciation. Everyone is there because they love good food and the people they get to share it with. We went to Sofia's. Portion sizes were too small, though paying almost 200 for one check was massively impressive and a memory that I will recount often. Gelato for dessert and off for some bizarre subway debacles. We got locked out, the subway has a security where you cannot go back onto a platform after charging your card and going through the bars. Thus, we were stuck outside of one, in desperate fear we would miss our train. We didn't we waited about an hour before making alternative plans. The whole idea for tonight was to take the Statin Island ferry to go past the Statue of Liberty. Well there was a schism in the ground and two ladies and myself took a train downtown. This took us across a massive bridge and right into Brooklyn. A kind stranger got us on track and we headed back to time square all safe.

Everything ends well. With this post coming to a close it means that I can return to my room and read comics until I fall asleep. I can barely keep my eyes open. There is so much stimulation in a day I can hardly keep myself together.

The real highpoint of the day, going to church on temple grounds. This may be considered cheating since we were under the temple, but hey, it was an amazing sabbath day. Hot, fun, adventurous, and full of friends and great food. I cannot complain. Now let these pictures increase your jealousy as you heat up water to make your Kraft Dinner.

 

Day One: NYC Trip Sat May 9th.

Since the packing restrictions of the trip made it impossible for me to bring a journal I decided to use these blog posts to be the daily journal entries I take here in the Big Apple and a legit blog entry about my experience in one of the biggest cities in the world.

My day started out extremely early, 5 am, with a trip to the IF airport. I was groggy and not personable with the other car guests and took to looking out the window. My actions for due to fifty percent lack of sleep and fifty percent anticipation for what is to come, when there is a big event about to happen I retreat into my shell.

The first flight went well. I pondered the words of Stephen King’s On Writing until the fatigue of the early morning took me to sleep. A quick race through the Denver airport saw me to the gate of my 4 hour flight to NYC. For this flight I again chose the words of Stephen King. Unfortunately, there was some hideous turbulence that did a number on my stomach. I sat there, beads of sweat forming on my brow. I thought, “I’m going to hurl. I’m going to hurl. What am I going to hurl I haven’t eaten anything.”

The flight smoothed and I was able to return to Mr. King for a short while. His words about my writing toolbox were engaging and enlightening. The only thing besides the obligatory tasks for college credit that I write prose for is this blog. Enjoy. I learned many things before shutting the book and returning to the grand masterpiece, East of West. A thorough read through of the entire published works made me think about plot and how slowly dosing out the helpings can be so satisfying while coming back to the table for around feast.

Finally, the sound of the land gear engaging called my attention to the open window for me to see the lovely industrial areas of North Queens. After waiting for 2 hours for transportation, we spent an hour in traffic getting to our hotel. What a magnificent hotel it is. I have never seen anything like it. In small circular groups, like the magazine of a revolver, the elevators wait to be called. One enters the floor into a keypad and the keypad responds with which elevator needs to be used to arrive at the desired floor. Brilliance.

After dumping luggage in the hotel room the next task was to find vitals to fill our stomachs. To the street! Now, I love food. I love any kind from any culture (I once are blood sausage in complete darkness during my time in the Dominican Republic, and it wasn’t half bad. Could have used ketchup. And it could have been hot. And maybe some salt. And it would have tasted better if it were my dad’s meatloaf. But I ate the dang thing and it increased my iron level so thus I am grateful. I have heard rants and ravings about the quality of the New York “Street Meat” and I must say, after tonight’s encounter with it, I must be in the wrong part of New York. I don’t agree with the idea of paying $4 for a hot dog. I could each seven and my dad’s taste 100 times better than this guy’s. Thus, the quest for good “Street Meat” continues.

The main lesson for the day was how to use the subway. Our guide, Brother Holt, took us on a full tour. We bought metrocards, got maps and rode around in a few to understand how they work. It was amazing!

Now, I love traveling. I don’t do it often because it is expensive, that is my main complaint. However, enjoying the cultures and customs of a foreign land is one of my favourite things. I do not understand why people travel to foreign places and expect these locations to be perfect. Yeah New York is dirty, because 8.4 MILLION people live there. Yeah the subway is hot and kinda stinky cause it is underground! People, enjoy what is around you. Maybe it is the fact I spent 8 months using a bucket to pour freezing water over my head to wash my body in Puerto Plata that I can walk through a subway and think it looks pretty good. I did was my hands quite thoroughly upon arriving home. I won’t let these people’s high attitude and regard for cleanliness ruin my trip.

Here are the amazing things I saw tonight:

Empire State Building

Rockafeller Center

Grand Central Station

Macy’s

Time Square

Madison Square Garden

Jake Gyllenhaal (not so amazing, but a celebrity nonetheless)

The adventure is just getting started and by golly and I excited to keep digging into this city. The fast pace and noise of it all reminds me of my glory days in the DR. Maybe I’ve been a big city person all my life and never realized that in the Podunk areas of Saskatchewan. NYC is a busier more congested Toronto or Ottawa, both of which I prefer thus far, but I have a sweet spot for my home and native land.

A Closed Door

Last night something familiar happened. I came home and the door to the apartment was locked. No one was home. I didn't have my keys. The night was cold and the wind was sharp. No shelter was found in the lounge, people were watching a movie, and another group was studying in the kitchen area. I walked one loop around the complex before resigning to my fate that I would have to sit on the cold stone by the fire. The brick was hard and chilly. The fire kept my feet warm but did not spread heat to the rest of my body. I was alone, I was cold, I was locked out.

As I peered behind me at every noise hoping it was a roommate with a key to let me in, a thought entered my head.

"This is how it would feel to be denied at the door to the Celestial Kingdom."

I sat stunned. The power of this realization pounded my heart and squeezed my stomach. What if I was rejected from entering back into Heavenly Father's presence? Since I was not going to be doing anything out in the cold, I took the time to reflect on how I felt and the emotion that was flowing through me.

The cold didn't just enter my body it entered my spirit. What a distressing, chilling, and agonizing feeling. To be blocked from returning to live with your family, how terrible! How truly, truly terrible. The sad thing, the thing that really sunk this all home, is that I didn't know when people would be home to let me in. Time inched by without any indication of when my suffering would end. I was literally left in the dark.

I was left in the cold, to ponder my error of not bringing my keys. Yet, as I pondered, other errors and short comings in my life started to come to mind, things I need to fix. Things that need to be corrected in order for me to enter the door to where Heavenly Father is.

This real experience illustrated something that I really needed to learn. A locked door like the virgins without oil. Am I lacking oil? Will I miss the Bridgegroom? Will I knock and knock only to be told that He does not know me?

Faith to overcome fear allows individuals to make necessary changes by trusting in the Lord and his atonement. Through that, human nature is altered and drawn closer to His example. We can make the changes necessary to hear, "Well done, my good and faithful servant."

Don't let a locked door stand between you and the comfort and safety of where you really want to be. Whether is be a warm bed, or an eternity with your family in the Kingdom of God.

Success: The Middle Finger to Oppression

I was asked today, "How famous do you want to be?"

How does one answer that? Those of fame and fortune in the spotlight stumble and fall only to have the wolves crawl over their bodies picking their bones clean. That isn't fame. Perhaps fame, but not success. Fame is then what, the praise of man? Recognition on the street or in a mall? Fame is not to be desired, fame is the elevator that when entered, ascends to a certain height, to snap and plummet. Why would anyone want to be famous? Bono said once, "There must be something wrong if a person needs a stadium full of people yelling their name to feel loved and alive."

Hopes and dreams are fickle threads that catch fire. No matter how resolved, how determined a person is, the casting down, shredding, cynicism, jealousy, and plain old being a dick sets flame to dreams. Like those high school jocks destroying our dream to play music. The mere mentioning of something above working at a fast food chain brings ridicule and distain.

People hate to see others succeed. Why should someone climb out of the swamp when the rest of the snakes and toads are stuck in the mud. If we escape it is because we are stronger, more persistent, and thankfully have been able to develop a resolve when others have merely dissolved. A town is drenched in a aura of damnation for no one can ever rise above the prejudices and norms that have been established throughout the past decades. Generations of alcoholics, drug abuse, and selfish consumerism locked the gate and barred the escape.

The secret to life is not fame. Fame can be taken away, fame is squandered by the fickle and the weak.

Success. Success is the key to unlock any door, any gate, any obstacle that stands in the way of further achievements. Success does not mean a stuffed bank account or a garage full of Bugattis. No, success comes from within. Success in and of itself is what drives you to see the vivid visualization of your dreams become a tangible thing you can hold in your hands or behold with your eyes. As success expands, the very desire of pursuit will lead to action. Revolutions will not just be started from war rooms, but in high school English classes, the playground, a library, a college dorm room, the office cubicle of an accountant who doesn't want to balance numbers for someone else.

Examine your life. What are you doing? What do you want to do? Why aren't you doing it now?

The gate was locked to me for so long. People shut doors and locked me in. Unique ideas were not wanted. The standardization of school meant that we were trained and reprogrammed to be robots. Imagination. Remember that? I bet very few of us do. Creation, imagination, and expression were done away with. Everyone loves reading these stories about dystopia societies. Open your eyes, we are living in one.

So what do we do? How do we escape the grey and find a place to build?

Keep fighting. Don't give up on yourself. YOU have the power to create anything. Whatever vision or image you see in your head of what you want to be or what you want to exist, hold onto it, cling to it when those forces of oppression come knocking. Don't give up on your dreams. Let them be the fuel that burns within you, motivating you, guiding you, inspiring you, and encouraging you to do better.

The feeling of breaking water and taking the first breath after so long below the surface is so close. If you haven't enjoyed it yet, don't give up. Never give up. Keep chasing that horizon. Build, create, inspire, develop, design, write, paint, sculpt, let whatever inside of you become the reality you always wanted.

Don't ever settle for anything other than what you've always wanted.

TSR

MTC: Missionary Testing Center

In the center of Provo, Utah there is a cluster of buildings. Named after important figures in the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, these buildings are homes and classrooms for thousands of young men and women. From anywhere between 1-9 weeks fresh newly called missionaries cram onto this piece of land to be taught how to teach the restored gospel of Jesus Christ.

My own adventure in this haven were mixed with high emotion and spiritual moments I will never forget.

A young, 19 year old from the Canadian prairies, I was ready to get out of the wheat fields and away from the hockey rinks for a stretch. A few months previous, I received my very own letter addressed from Prophet Thomas S. Monson. Excited and anxious, my fingers slid open the envelope and I carefully excavated the letter, using the envelope to cover the text, as to not ruin the surprise.

I read. It is something all LDS are familiar with, whether they have served or not. The diction is very specific. My voice cracked when my eyes reached my destination and my mind froze. The Dominican Republic. Spanish. Whoa.

But there I was, before I realized, sitting on a plane to Utah. Dressed in my suit, which was too big for me, I felt like a kid going to kindergarten, leaving Mom and Dad at home, not sure how to find my way back.

The most tender and loving people greeted me at the airport in Salt Lake City. When my luggage was retrieved we loaded into the vehicle and carried on. To this day I cannot explain what storm was happening inside. I had been waiting to be a missionary since I was five. I wanted to serve with everything that I could. I didn't speak Spanish. How was I to do this? My stomach dropped even further when I saw that Provo was only a few miles away. I blinked and the building was in front of me, we were parking, walking in. Photo ID, and that was it.

I turned to these marvelous human beings and smiled. They were the first tender mercy the Lord had in store for me during those two years. I hugged them, not wanting to let go, not wanting to face the unknown that my uninhibited imagination was having difficulty processing. I turned, scooped up my luggage handles and rolled off to begin the greatest adventure I have ever had.

Normally, LDS missionaries are always to have a companion. Because I arrived at almost midnight, everyone was already asleep so I carried on alone with the security guard. We stopped for a quick snack where I picked up a yogurt and a banana. My stomach cannot handle food when wound into knots of anxiety. My temporary room was bare. Two bunk beds, some desks, and drawers. Sleep didn't come to me for some time. Insomnia is also stress induced.

All the stories I heard about the MTC were these glamorized, picturesque, incidences that seemed too good to be true. Perhaps that is what the MTC really is, and I attended while it was under construction and that feature was put on hold. I am not sure. The main feeling I recall from my visit was that it was stressful and emotional.

The first time I logged onto myldsmail.net to check my missionary email I came up with a blank webpage. In a rage I complained to my family that this is hard, I am struggling, this isn't for me.

There is a saying at the MTC, "If you can make it to Sunday you will make it all the way through." That replayed and replayed in my head. Thursday night was excruciatingly long. Friday was more tolerable with our first batch of service. By Sunday, the clay that was me was almost ready to be molded. There was more pride and selfishness to be wrung out of me before the Lord could have his way.

What instituted that change was an interesting experience. A letter I received from home touched my heart above anything else I had experienced in those buildings. A tender, loving, and genuine plea for my wellbeing was typed and sent. Sitting in the hot, stuffy, crowded laundry room using the computers my eyes flooded and eyelids fought to keep the dam from overflowing.

The Lord knows what we need when we need it. That is something I didn't have a testimony of back then.

That email cracked what final bit of shell I was clinging to and had me stand there, vulnerable, innocent, and exposed. In that moment I was beginning to be what he needed of me.

Following weeks of classes, study, and service, not to mention gym and meals were different. While still difficult, I could understand how the Lord was pushing me to get to where He wanted me.

The MTC taught me nothing about missionary work, nothing about preaching the gospel, nothing about the scriptures. In the difficulty of the time I was there it was test after test, trial after trial. I am under the impression that the Lord has set up the MTC not for people to walk in as naive Mormons, and leave with a PhD in preaching. But to walk in naive, scared, insecure children of God and leave with a solid testimony, an understanding of prayer, a love for the scriptures, the confidence that they can do hard things, and a slight appreciation for what matters in life.

When it comes down to it, preaching the gospel isn't about flipping through the scriptures, reciting things in foreign languages, knowing the lesson word for word, nor even about tactics. Preaching the gospel is about me. And it is about you. You can't recommend a good restaurant if you haven't eaten there. You cannot suggest a good book if you haven't read it, nor compliment a song without listening to it. Such as the MTC provides the environment for young men and women to experience and live the gospel without distraction for a space of time before going into the streets of Chile, or Japan, or the Dominican Republic to share with strangers how the gospel blesses their life.

After the short time in Provo passed, I couldn't speak a word of Spanish, I didn't know where any powerful or relevant scriptures were found, and I didn't know how to approach strangers on the street or on their doorstep. I did know that I had a testimony. I did know that I could live up to the call the Lord chose for me. While still wrapped in fear of what was to come in the Dominican Republic, I was sure I was doing what the Lord needed of me.

The scariest times of life are when we leave the comfort and joy of the well lit reality, and walk into the dark of the unknown in faith. May we all have faith to do so as life and Heavenly Father so demand. Be not afraid, only believe.

Jesus Christ and Heavenly Father love us. The experiences we have, though difficult and seemingly unfair are all necessary for our progression. And don't think that your experiences are to be the same as everyone else's. That is not the design.

As only the first step in the staircase of my mission, the MTC was the proving ground to myself, that I could be a missionary. There will be more stories to illustrate how I continued to be molded and shaped through the Lord's hands.

TSR

Ce'Nedra

Remember a few days ago I posted about the pronunciation in fantasy novels being the biggest turn-off for breaking into the genre. I finished Queen of Sorcery last night and it happened... the first name with an apostrophe was introduced, Ce'Nedra. I saw it, I couldn't believe it, yet it happened. I guess it was only a matter of time. An interesting thing occurred, I wasn't upset. Maybe because the joke had already happened, maybe because the author had won my trust, maybe because out of all the names in fantasy encountered with an apostrophe this is actually pronounceable. Ce'Nedra, is a simple name, basic syllables, no harm no foul. I stand by my previous post, some fantasy authors are careless and egregious with their use of the apostrophe. Eddings delivered a high five with his simple and appropriate name choice for his character. Spot on my good fellow, spot on.

Celine Dion + Baking = Christmas

I grew up in the rank and file cluster of farming communities encircled by Indian reserves on the desolate Saskatchewan prairies. Many morning I walked to school, it wasn't a long stretch, it wasn't one of the up hill both ways kind of things your grandparents talked about from their childhood. The cold, however, was penetrating and a vile form of violation, no matter how many layers encompassed my frame, some poor appendage was grieved with the loss of feeling. Frequently, during these short treks, my eyelashes would freeze together preventing me from seeing where I was going. I would slip one hand out of its toasty glove to rip the lids apart and restore my site, not that was anything really to see, this was more a safety measure to avoid the moving trucks that obnoxiously backed up without any disregard for what poor ice-blinded child was behind them.

The days leading up to the holidays were filled with seasonal crafts, practices for the Christmas concert, and games. Specifically, my elementary school followed a tradition that roots back to the origin of the school. The last day of classes before the break we all file into the gymnasium, sit crossed-legged like good teacher abiding monkeys and belt carols from our tiny high pitched voices till our throats were ripped raw. My favourite was The Twelve Days of Christmas. We stood up and followed a ridiculous set of actions as the days counted up and back down. We shuffled back to our classrooms, the excitement causing us to be a little too giddy and jumpy. No one could sit still in their desks. I remember many kids just dancing around with anticipation of the break and what Santa would bring them. Teachers would open presents, I don't think I ever brought them anything. What could I possibly buy my teacher? "Here's a Lego pencil holder! Oh... you already have a gold one... Dang."

The real treat of the day was being released early at 2 rather than fight all the way to 3:30. I would run home back down the block and burst into the house...and every time I did the most amazing thing would be waiting for me. The porch was spotless, freshly mopped with a clean rug to absorb the melted snow, the whole house smelt like bread, cupcakes, peanut brittle, turtles, and vanilla candles. I jumped the three steps from the porch up the entry room and the smell hit me more powerfully. The kitchen was flooded with baked goods of varying levels of sweetness. The flood of baked goods would always escape the boundaries of the kitchen counters and overflow onto the kitchen table. And I survey the scene of gluten gloriousness a familiar and long lost sound fills my ears... from the living room comes the sound of Canada's jewel, no not Michael Buble, Celine Dion. Her voice at Christmas is the same as the angels who announced Christ's birth. She may have even been one, with the voice that she has I wouldn't doubt it in the slightest.

The combination of all these items, the cleaned house, the baked goods, and the musical selection equals, well it means my sister Tovah is home from university and sent my dad off to nap while she takes over the reins for a while, and it also means that it is Christmas. That is the equation for Christmas magic. I don't care how many presents I get, I don't really want physical things anyway. When my family was home and we packed around the table to fight over that last sausage, that is what I remember about Christmas. Grandma's caramel popcorn she brought in grocery bags, why were all her gifts signed from Grandma and Pup, did the dog have a say in what we got? That's why they were all shabby! The midnight snack spreads on Christmas Eve, Mother inhaling popcorn while Chevy Chase sleds to his death in Christmas Vacation, the fight to see who washes dishes after the Christmas Eve meal, hanging stockings, Dad reading Twas the Night Before Christmas, and most of all the magical and inexplicable feeling of walking into the living room Christmas morning and seeing what Santa left and the stamp of happiness and whimsy that marked our house.

After years and years, after spending two Christmases on a tropical island, after Christmas finally making sense that what the Grinch was saying all along is true, my search is no longer for the perfect gift, it is no longer about stacking my "Wish List" with as many expensive items as I can... It is to help others feel the love of their God, whichever religious paradigm they subscribe to, and to feel that humanity still has good in it.

If you are feeling alone, or unloved, or barren, or left behind, I offer you these words. May my memories of the happiest times of my childhood bring you a smile. May they motivate you to think outside yourself this season and reach out to others. As you strive to lift others and take away their worries, I promise you will find that same joy and happiness you feel vacant in your life.

Cheers!
Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!
TSR

Top 5 Comics of 2014

Come one come all. Step right up. Feast your eyes upon the greatest comics of the year! Feel free to leave responses and you can find every book linked to Amazon.com.

5. Miles Morales Ultimate Spider-Man

I love Spider-Man. The ultimate universe is a really fun alternate reality to the traditional 616 universe. I was first introduced to Miles Morales in Bendis' Spider-Men. He isn't a Peter Parker, his background and youth contribute to a read that is different than what you will find in Amazing Spider-Man. Miles has a great supporting cast of family and friends. This volume has been dealing with some fallout from the previous volumes involving Peter Parker. The great nemesis, Norman Osborn, is back and with a threat that Yrl gna brn, (You're all gonna burn.) The great responsibility that comes with great power falls on Miles and he rushes to the scene. Let's jump back a bit, Miles' story is so different than that of Peter's. That's what makes this story interesting. Miles' family situation is the complete opposite of Peter's. No longer does an orphan run the show. Miles does live and study at a boarding school which allows him to sneak around at night but still have someone to go home to on the weekends for a home cooked meal. The villains that are introduced when Miles dons the suit are fresh and fun reinventions of classic Spider-Man villains. Most notably, Scorpion makes his way up from Mexico to deal with a matter in NYC, establishing a territory and give Kingpin a run for him money. Traditional Spider-Man fans will find enough common ground here to stay for the ride that Bendis crafts for his readers. Interested readers can begin the journey with Miles at the beginning.

4. Black Science

Rick Remender handles science fiction like a milk maid handles udders. Care, expertise, and finesse are evident with everything that Remender touches. From my early reads of Uncanny X-Force to Fear Agent and his Venom book that was my doorway to comics, I have enjoyed everything that Remender has put out. Black Science is a fresh take in science fiction. Protagonist Grant Mckay leads a team of Anarchist League of Scientist through a plethora of dimensions using a machine cleverly labeled the Onion. The real story is the characters. The situations they found themselves in draws out the personality of each. There is a few tales going on in this book. Grant has his tale, Grant's kids, Nathan and Pia, and the boss Kadir. Remender's writing is fast and gripping. Each issue is packed full of glorious story and the art work is amazingly complimentary. Matteo Scalera provides detailed illustrations of these great characters, not to mention the actual sci-fi worlds these people are transported to. I love the way that Scalera draws. His characters are unique and fun. They are expressive and vibrant. Each scene is packed with detail and little things to look at. In the first issue alone I spent more time scanning the art than reading the dialogue. This tale moves fast and once Remender establishes the norm, he quickly tips the boat and leaves everything clinging to the side. Black Science is an amazing read and just keeps on getting better.

3. Nailbiter

Nailbiter fills me with such joy. Joshua Williamson blends genres together with such talent that it makes the card Polymerization obsolete. Nailbiter melts horror and mystery together with a sense of thrill to form a delicious dish that is best read in the dark. Now, I hate horror movies, I was even scared of The Mummy when I was a kid. This book totally grips me. The mystery of Buckaroo Oregon starts the story off and more is piled on each issue. Buckaroo is the town where 16 of the worlds' most vile serial killers were born. What is it about this town that causes these people to become killers? That is the mystery! Williamson's characters are fun to read and when they die, still a joy. He crafts characters that you can connect with and an environment that feels like it is straight out of a Hollywood production. I haven't had this much fun reading a comic in a long time. Each issue flows well together and carries the story along well. The art is also beautiful and not gory in the slightest, yes, there are bodies and violence, yet I do not find it upsetting. Nailbiter is a really cool book that is doing some really awesome things with this medium. If you like horror or are even up for a good mystery check this book out!

2. Invincible

Before I use my words....take a look up there ^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ Just look at how beautiful that is. Imagine that beauty represented in story, art, colors, EVERYTHING about this comic. I started reading Invincible two summers ago. I devoured the ultimate collections like bags of peanuts. Robert Kirkman is a master of this trade. When it comes to writing, Kirkman is a genius. The amount of threads that lay dormant to be picked up issues and issues later shocks me. The trash bag still makes me crack up! I love this book. The art is fantastic! Ryan Ottley is a beast. I love his characters and the action he draws is so engaging. I love his fight scenes; fists, blood, guts, and gore fill the pages and it looks amazing. Everything in this book is just great. The twists and turns are like a waterslide and you get swept right along with the current. Don't hold back just go with the flow. Invincible truly is the only superhero comic you will ever need. Start the adventure here.

1. East of West

Speaking of glorious writers, Jonathan Hickman, am I right? This Image crafting genius brings forth the sci-fi western that is East of West. Imagine the four horsemen of the apocalypse, and then imagine Death is really Clint Eastwood. Now, with that idea picture an alternate USA with distinct territories divided up between different parties. Now imagine that a leader of each territory is part of a group trying to bring about the end of the world. The Chosen are these leaders and make up one side of the chess board while Death and those opposed to the Chosen are on the other side. The environment is an interesting reimagining of America. Politics play a huge part in this book and can be kind of confusing until you understand who all of the players are. I like that this comic jumps back and forth between all of the parties involved. I love stories where you get small snippets of everything all jumbled together. Hickman is joined by Nick Dragotta doing pencils. The mixture of sci-fi and western is really evident in the art. The horses of the horseman are so interesting! Technology is essential to the story and it is designed so well! Whether you are into sci-fi or into westerns this books is worth the read. Try it out. I guarantee that you will find something to grab ahold of. 

Whether you are a seasoned veteran or want to start a new hobby, any one of these books is a great choice. Have fun exploring these universes! There is something to love in each. Thanks for reading and happy comics!

TSR

Prayer.

What a divine gift we all, every one of us, may engage in to converse with our creator. Imagine that you have a cellular device, no requirement for credit, no monthly plan, and no roaming charges, service is better in the mornings and the evenings, though that should not limit your use. Prayer is this miraculous communication with the Maker of all. A fantastic forum opens when knees are placed on floor, hands resist the itch to text or type, and eyes shut out the continuous conflict of “which distraction will capture me next?” In reverence, hearts blossom with honesty and memories nourish the soul, while engaged in communion with The Most High.

Fantasy. What are ya gonna do?

Fantasy genre scared me like flu-shot day at school. I have not touched a fantasy book since the days I consumed Redwall novels like peanuts! I steer clear of high fantasy books because, mainly, I CANNOT PRONOUNCE ANYTHING!! Characters, cities, races, spells, weapons; everything is spelt too bizarrely to pronounce, let alone remember. K’tharyuli, how would you possible pronounce that? Worse, K’tharyuli is from the Gr’kzclao race. See what I mean? When the dreaded day came having read every comic I own, a respected and somewhat nerdy professor suggested to me some literary fruit to satisfy my taste. Pawn of Prophecy, by David Eddings, disappeared at the rate of a chocolate milkshake, a little lumpy at first, but later flowing and delicious. Make it known, I repent from my absence of fantasy and willingly reconvert with a fervent determination to remain faithful.

The Ongoing Debate Surrounding Creativity

The debates involving and surrounding creativity have been occurring for many years. Creativity refers to the originality or innovative thinking and expression of abilities, displayed by human beings. How are teachers to go about instructing students in order to aid their levels of creativity? How can researchers inspire teachers to break from the normal to change their teaching methods in order to develop a more creative environment? For years these have been some of the questions that researchers have delved further into. Certain breakthroughs in research have identified a separation of creative talents. Also, an effective test has been devised to measure the creative output of students. Advancements in music, business, and art have been influenced greatly by the creativity of individuals such as Albert Einstein, Miles Davies, and Martha Stewart and further progress depends upon the creativity of those currently in the field. The conversation surrounding creativity still continues, but is aided by the understandings gained by researchers of the past.

Creativity has a higher value in our current economy among the businesses than in the past, where the main focus was placed on the arts. Creativity is not limited to a writer or a painter. In every sphere of life there are opportunities to be creative. The Gale Encyclopedia of Psychology defines creativity as, "The ability to juxtapose ideas in a new and unusual way to find solutions to problems, create new inventions, or produce works of art." (“Creativity”, 157) New equals creative, not different. While many individuals can take a dish and alter it to some degree, true creativity would be inventing an entirely new and distinct dish. Kandiko expresses that there are opportunities to be creative or 'innovative' in the business industries, "Businesses are increasingly looking to recruit, support and retain 'cleavers', the people who bring a unique strategic advantage to the firm." (Kandiko, 193) In order to keep industries progressing and expanding the need for new and better is a constant. Kandiko is expressing that businesses need individuals who are creative in a multitude of areas in order to keep up with the times. Stellan Ohlsson and Trina Kershaw add this insight about creativity, though they use the word innovation, "Towards the end of the twentieth century, the importance of innovation for economic production was widely recognized among business leaders." (Ohlsson et al, 507) Similar to Kandiko's statement, the future of many businesses depends on the creativity of those of the rising generation. Thus, we see, the expanse of creativity is reaching more strongly to business and industry, giving innovation that much more importance in our day and age.

Further understanding of what "creativity" really is, comes with familiarization of big-C and little-c creativity is important. These two fields are what make up the groupings in the realm of creativity. Gene Cohen mentions the distinguishing factors between big-C and little-c as found by Harvard Professor Howard Gardner. Cohen expresses that the impact this type of creativity has on society is large and sweeping, "These forms of creativity not only changed entire fields of thought…but also influenced other fields of thought and, in some ways, world history." (Cohen, 101) Those who employ this type of creativity change, not only their own sphere, but also the sphere of everyone. The scale to which big-C creativity extends essentially has no limit. On the other hand, little-c creativity is displayed in the common day-to-day tasks of life. For most, the capacity of their creativity will be limited by little-c. Camille Kandiko offers her insight about the commonality of little-c in the world, "…education focused on exceptional or big-C creativity has been overshadowed by conceptions of ordinary, 'everyday creativity' or 'little-c creativity'." (Kandiko, 193) This exhibits the current trend of the world, wanting solely big-C, but having to settle for little-c. Although big-C has a more wide-spread effect on the world, little-c has importance among those not classified as “genius” to influence their personal sphere of life.

In order to more fully understand how best to teach creativity, understanding what influences creativity is extremely important. Like the ingredients that make up a stew, there is a plethora of influences that act upon the development of creativity. One of the most important influences on creativity is motivation. Iain Maclaren stated that, "[It] does appear that intrinsic motivation is a more powerful indicator of creative commitment and output than, for example, purely monetary incentive." (Maclaren, 164) Rather than dangling a check in front of someone in order to come up with something new and different, Maclaren claims that simple genuine motivation can aid creative process in a more potent way. Along side Maclaren, Brinkman makes a claim as well involving the importance of motivation. He states, "Support for creativity from school administrators or a colleague is helpful, but such motivation is intrinsic." (Brinkman, 49) Both Maclaren and Brinkman state that motivation to create is essential. Maclaren quoted Hennessey and Amabile reasoning that, "… people are at their most creative when motivated by the interest, enjoyment, satisfaction and the challenge of the work itself." (Maclaren, 164) Clearly, if someone is interested in what they are doing, they are more likely to think harder and give the project more attention. As all of these influences come from individuals who are usually of higher authority than those creating, the main responsibility to influence creativity falls upon the superiors. Whether it is a work place, or school, those in leadership positions make or break the creative environment through the way motivation and incentives are offered or withheld.

Understanding the two types of creativity and what influences creativity aided researchers in the design of tests to measure creativity. Designs of these tests allow for creativity to be gauged based on output. Outputs meaning, the uniqueness of the answers to questions, as well as creations of unique items such as paintings or music. Brinkman offers an opinion of testing in the normal classroom routine, "Resist the notion that standardized tests will answer all our problems in education. The beauty of the arts is that more than one answer can be correct." (Brinkman, 50) Brinkman is saying that standard testing is an unclear indicator of how the student is progressing since these tests limit the possible correct answers to one. Thus, suggesting that an alternate way of testing is required for measuring creativity. Kandiko mentions tests that were developed since the 1950s to aid in the gauging of creativeness. The tests she mentions are "trait-based" without a firm foundation to test on. This presents the idea that perhaps creativity is difficult to teach because it is likewise difficult to test. (Kandiko, 192) However, in recent years a test has been devised that has proven to be more effective. The Torrance Test of Creative Thinking is a series of verbal and nonverbal components to view the way creativity is exhibited. Aspects of this test involve a verbal section that consist of six word-based activities, including devising alternate uses for common items, answering hypothetical what-would-happen-if questions, generating questions and improving products. The nonverbal sections require students to draw multiple pictures using a repeated shape, take forms and make them into pictures by adding lines and complete a picture through drawing. (White et al, 322) Jill White and Gregory Hanley state, "The Torrance Test has excellent content and construct validity compared with most other creativity tests." (White et al, 322) This opinion from these psychologists gives credit to the effectiveness of this test when compared to the other methods being exhibited to measure creativity levels of students around the world. The manner in which the Torrance Test measures creative levels allows the student to freely express their creativity while being free from generic answers and fill-in-the-bubble sheets. The Torrance Test, for now, will allow creativity to be measured and thus, help teachers and other educators assist students to maintain a desire to create.

Hand in hand with developing concepts on how to teach creativity, should be an understanding of what superiors do in halt creativeness in youth. There are many inhibiting factors that play a large part in the blocking of creativity that exist inside schools and businesses. Ronald A. Beghetto repeats a startling indicator from E. P. Torrance, which emphasizes where creativity is hindered, "We have seen many indications in our testing of first and second grade children that many… have been subjected to concerted efforts to eliminate fantasy from their thinking too early." (Beghetto, 448) Torrance refers to these youngsters as having "impoverished imaginations." (Beghetto, 448) Malpractices in the classroom are many. Beghetto observes, “[students]…wait for the teacher to ask a question… raise [their] hand… share [their] response (usually by trying to match [the] response with what [they] think the teacher expects to hear)…" Beghetto speaks against this practice stating that it is "a game of 'intellectual hide-and-seek'." (Beghetto, 450) This game of guessing does not offer any opportunity for the students to be creative because they are constantly trying to divine the contents of the teacher's head. On the same hand, these days, creative limitations are common in businesses. Kandiko, citing Fryer and Smith-Bingham, describes a workplace where employees are broken into groups and assigned a task. Instead of experiencing innovation, however, the level of creativity is crippled and drops off, “Rather than allow individuals to run free with their ideas, spewing creative genius, organizations shackle their creators down, burdening them with pre-assigned tasks.” (Kandiko, 196) Quoting Perutz, Kandiko gives a great insight into the thoughts of a creator, "Creativity in science, as in the arts, cannot be organized." (Kandiko, 196) This quote by Perutz perfectly illustrates the flaw in academia and business. In order to keep records, there needs to be organization. In order to track progress, there needs to be organization. Perutz, however, feels differently and claims that organization should not, and cannot be attached to creativity. Rather, "[creativity] arises spontaneously from individual talent." (Kandiko, 196) Freedom to create may be the most productive way to teach creativity. Limitations and inhibitors are many and too common among the institutions that claim to be the main sources of innovation. In order to break free of these restrictors, these facilities will have to evolve and establish fresh practices in order to allow individuals to display their creativity without deterrence.

The actual process of teaching creativity is a unique and important factor that individuals have examined for many years. Many concepts and ideas exist in the discussion of how to best teach creativity that can be put into practice in the classroom for the student’s benefit. Brinkman points out a specific style of teaching that is seeing results in the nurturing of creativity in the class. He divulges, "we devise new ways to accomplish the same goals, but we also leave room for unplanned and unpredictable goals to develop…" (Brinkman, 49) Brinkman, in a sense, warns that teachers can be too stale and too common with their teaching approach by following the same routine. But also, Brinkman is stating that teachers have room to breathe and experiment with the style in which they teach, allowing for more student participation. To emphasize this point, Brinkman explains how, in a musical setting, teaching creativity comes into play. He notes that a teacher is experiencing a problem with a band; too many percussionists and a shortage of trumpeters. In order to solve this Brinkman announces, "To encourage creativity in her students, the music teacher must get them involved in the solving of the problem." (Brinkman, 50) An important factor for nurturing creativity is allowing students to be creative. Brinkman’s band situation is a perfect example of how out of the box thinking on the teacher’s part can aid the students display their creativity. Beghetto, likewise views the main issue of teaching creativity as, “…the way teachers teach.” (Beghetto, 450) A possible solution that Livingston sees to this is to, "[turn] the technological expertise of our students into a greater asset." (Livingston, 49) A simple idea that could improve the way that classrooms cultivate creativity; allow the students to learn in and experiment with, mediums they are familiar with. Livingston adds this suggestion, "Making the curriculum about interpersonal exchange and exchange opens the experience for every student to express, share, and test his or her creative instincts." (Livingston, 50) Livingston’s ideas, for the moment suggestions, may require a slight alteration of current classroom trends, however, the affects would offer students more freedom of creative expression than exhibited in modern classrooms. Brinkman showed that incorporating the students in a new way did have a positive affect on the creativeness of those band students. For, we see, creativity is best taught through experimental and non-scheduled methods. Experts have pointed out aspects in the traditional classroom approaches that do function, yet, offer ideas on how to better create a creative environment for the student.

As expressed above, creativity is an attribute the world needs to be able to use. In the coming years there will be the need for more Einsteins and Van Goughs. In order to better harvest the creativity that exists within our youth and continue the development of it, drastic changes are needed. In the future, I predict there being a movement toward ideas suggested by Brinkman, Beghetto, and Livingston being implemented more in academia. Superiors will be more informed and taught that less control equals more freedom. I hope that Livingston’s idea altering classroom traditions in order to keep students engaged and interested will come to pass. Likewise, motivation will be more widespread in academia. I expect there to be a movement, a shifting, from the student’s side as well. If the students remain complacent with the education they are receiving and the numbing effects of teachers, there will never be true creativity nurtured inside of a classroom. Students have just as much a right to demand for change than the researchers who bring these points to like. In these articles there were multiple examples of flaws with the current practices in academia, although few did make mention of successes in the business sector. I imagine this will continue, for business will sputter and die, if there is not a creative individual that pushes innovation and imagination. These concepts are ones that I feel passionately about and can see myself becoming involved in. Though, for now, they have given me a better understanding about how to aid my own creativity and create situations for others to likewise maximize their educational experience.

Citations

Brinkman, David J. “Teaching Creatively and Teaching for Creativity.” Arts Education Policy Review 111 (2010): 48-50

Maclaren, Iain. “The contradictions of policy and practice: creativity in higher education.” London Review of Education Vol. 10 No. 2 (2012) 159-172

Beghetto, Ronald A. “Creativity in the Classroom.”

Kandiko, Camille B. “Leadership and creativity in higher education: the role of interdisciplinarity.” London Review of Education Vol. 10, No. 2 (2012) 191-200

Livingston, Larry. “Teaching Creativity in Higher Education.” Arts Education Policy Review 111 (2010) 59-62

Cohen, Gene “The Creative Age.” Aging Concepts and Controversies Ed 5, (2006) 100-102

White, Jill M., and Gregory P. Hanley. "Creativity." Encyclopedia of Human Development. Ed. Neil J. Salkind. Vol. 1. Thousand Oaks, CA: SAGE Reference, 2006. 320-322. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 4 Mar. 2014.

OHLSSON, STELLAN, and TRINA C. KERSHAW. "Creativity." Encyclopedia of Education. Ed. James W. Guthrie. 2nd ed. Vol. 2. New York: Macmillan Reference USA, 2002. 505-507. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 4 Mar. 2014.

"Creativity." The Gale Encyclopedia of Psychology. Ed. Bonnie Strickland. 2nd ed. Detroit: Gale, 2001. 157-159. Gale Virtual Reference Library. Web. 4 Mar. 2014.